Alpine grief

I wade into grief slowly

as if it were an alpine lake

each step causing breathless gasping

its frigid bite meeting warm skin.

So I wait

until each body part

grows numb

the thousand poking needles

blunted

as if a thin paper

suddenly shields my skin.

Finally, I am immersed

and I carefully tilt back my head

to press my nose

into the air

as the water covers my face.

I wait

feeling the throbbing cold

complete its path

through my skin, muscles, nerves, and bones

until it hits my core

until I am fully conscious

of my submersion.

And then, only then

do I slowly turn around

layer by layer

my body emerges

dripping, sodden

trembling

until I stand on dry ground

once more.

But even then

the memory of the dark waters

remains in the faint, shimmering droplets

perched on my skin

sending goose-bumped shivers

across my body.